I said this to a friend today. He noticed I was down and I confirmed I was having a bad day. He said “everyday should be a great day when your alive” to which I replied “just because one is breathing, dosn’t mean they are alive.” 

This is pretty damn morbid. But true. The events of this year have killed some parts of me. I’ve lost my innocence, optimism, hope, trust in others, and my self confidence. Those parts of me died through the loss of my best friend and being violently raped. I guess its not forever, and I can always find these parts of me again, but for now-

I am not whole.